A mother and the Gospel

Mothering for the Sake of the Gospel

by Jenni Roney



I don’t want to be a good mother. I want to be a great mother. I want to speak sweetly to my children like Marmee in Little Women. I want to perform musical marionette shows with my kids and sew their clothes from drapes like Maria in The Sound of Music. I want to teach my boys to relate to each other like the kids in The Boxcar Children. But in reality, I identify more with the Apostle Paul when he says, “I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out” (Romans 7:18).

As an exercise this week, I made a list of all the things that “good mothers” do. In just 10 minutes, I came up with 75 impossible standards that lurk somewhere in the recesses of my subconscious.

Here are a few of the highlights: A good mother never yells, she has a freezer full of nutritious and frugal meals, her children know all of their Fighter Verses, she exercises daily, her kids would rather read than watch a movie, she gives her children only happy memories and records them in scrapbooks, she makes homemade cookies but never eats them herself, her laundry is always caught up, her babies sleep through the night at six weeks, and her boys always lift the toilet lid.

If you’re a mom, I’m sure your list is as lengthy as mine. And if we were truly honest, we would add a few of our personal convictions about the ways that “good mothers” feed, educate, and discipline their children. Here’s the problem—we are living under a self-imposed law of “Mommy Legalism” that isn’t necessarily biblical. Are we mothering for the sake of our own self-righteousness or mothering for the sake of the gospel?

Unfortunately, we will never measure up to our own imaginary laws of good mothering. And when we fall short, we either condemn ourselves or condemn other moms to make ourselves feel better. But the Old Testament Law existed to show us that we can never keep a high enough standard to please God.

Why are we trying to add extra righteousness through “good mothering” when we are already justified through Christ? Mothers, God is pleased with you because when he looks at you, he sees Christ. And there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.

Judgmental Whitewashed Tomb Moms do not bring glory to God. But if we can be mothers who understand our own propensity to sin, we will be astonished by and thankful for the grace of God. We can then extend that grace to our sinful children and to other struggling mothers who may hold different convictions, pointing them to our only hope, Jesus Christ.

I think we could shorten our “good mother” lists to one single item: A good mother models the gospel for her children and for other moms. It is a wonderful thing for our children to see our weaknesses to learn that our strength and hope come from the Lord. And it’s not just our children who need to see our moment-by-moment dependence on Christ. Other women need to know that we, too, are imperfect mothers, in need of God’s grace and sanctification.

We need to encourage one another to press on toward the goal through the many challenging seasons of motherhood. We need godly older women and biblical counsel to help us fight the fight of faith. We need to “stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another” (Hebrews 10:24–25)… As imperfect mothers, may we display the gospel to our children as we point them to a perfect Savior.